Isaiah 40:28-31: October 2007

Thursday, October 25, 2007

Just need to love Him

I have been struggling with something recently. I have been struggling to discern if God doesnt answer yes to a prayer, is it a "no now" or a "no forever" answer? I do understand that it is not something that I should be overly concerned with since God wants us to focus on the now rather then the later. So, if I will stop complaining, I could just simply take his no for what it is...a no.

But I've been struggling with how God could say no to something that was bringing me so much spiritual growth (please, try to stay with my ambiguity). Ah, but it is not my place to really decide what is best for me. That has been hard to understand as well.

When God called us to himself. When God called us to be his disciples he called every part of us.

He calls for our devotion of mind, heart, soul, and strength.

Mark 12:30 says

Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.

Love takes discipline; it takes devotion, if you truely want to call it love.

Let's break it down.
(Disclaimer...these are Kristy's thoughts and not a Bible Commentary's thoughts.)

Heart:
To love our precious Lord with all of our heart means that we surrender our desires unto Him. If we truely love our Savior, if we truely recognize how much he loves us, then we should be willing to submit these desires and to allow His desires to be threaded into the very fabric of who we are. God's desires become our desires. Take notice that the opposite is not true, and should never be allowed to take root in our thinking. We should not think that our desires will become God's desires. God does not submit to us. We submit to God. But, also keep in mind that God loves you very much, and he will do what is good for you, so do not fear when he does say no to a desire of yours, because when the Lord takes away, he replaces with something greater.

Also do not think that I am saying that God will not grant you the desires of your heart. God will bless us, but sometimes what we want for ourselves isnt what is best for us, and this goes back to my dilemma above of who it is that really knows what is best for me, me? or God?

Soul:
To love God with all my soul...hmm, this is a hard one to understand. I see the soul as being the deepest part of us. It is the eternal part. Think of in those terms. Love the Lord your God with what is eternal.
He has saved my own soul from eternal damnation.
How could someone adequately express gratitude for that?

I think that this should push us to really consider the lost all around us. Those that are hurting deeply and those who we dont see as eternal beings. If we did, would it change how we think of them and how we interact with them? God loved your soul enough to die for you, and you are forever indepted to him. Now, can you take that same love and love God enough to care for his people in the same way? That is something to consider.

Mind:
Love the Lord your God with all of your mind. With all of your cognitive thinking. With all of your reason and with all of your knowledge and intelligence. Love God with your mind.

Think of the human race.
Think of the amazing capacity that God has given us for thought and reason.
Think of how we numb this amazing blessing.
We spend hours infront of the TV. We spend hours infront of a computer doing mindless things.
We spend hours infront of things that bring us no spiritual growth. Consider this verse in 1 Corinthians chapter 10.

23 "I have the right to do anything," you say - but not everything is beneficial. "I have the right to do anything" - but not everything is constructive.

We have many rights as Christians. We have the right to numb this amazing chunk of grey matter between our ears, but where does that take us? What does that do for us? Take advantage of this blessing and dont take it for granted.

Read more.
Study more.
Observe more.

Strength:
Now this one is interesting. Love the Lord your God with all of your strength.

What has God blessed you with?

What are your strengths? Are you bold? Use it to God's glory. Are you creative? Use it to God's glory. Are you wealthy? Use it to God's glory. Are you hospitable? Use it to God's glory. Can you sing? Use it to God's glory. The list can go on and on.

Find your strengths that God has blessed you with, and use it to God's glory. Maximize your potential for His kingdom and I promise you that you will grow spiritually and your relationship with the Father above will deepen.

Consider for a moment your weaknesses? What are you addicted to? What sin is in your life? What past sin was in your life that God has saved you from? All these things can also bring God glory. Our weaknesses can become our strengths through God.

So there we have it. As usual, it was a "just go for it" post where I didn't exactly have a plan.

I pray that God teaches me through my own words. It was not I who spoke, but I know that the Holy Spirit was speaking through me. I need not worry and I need not fret. God is in control.

God has given us today. Let us glorify Him with it.

In Christ,
Kristy

posted by Kristy @ 10:21 PM 2 comments

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Which way?

Sometimes it is hard discerning where God wants you in life.

This has been one of my biggest struggles for such a long time. I graduated High School in 2005 and went off to Boise State University for college. While I was there I really began to have this fire start up within my soul. I began to understand the life of a Christian. I was going to so many Bible studies and I had a hunger, I just didn't have the knowledge. So after just one year I went to a small Bible School here in the valley called Boise Bible College. I spent a year there. I learned so much about God's precious Word, I had many things hindering my walk. One thing that I did not let go of was my depression.

I had dealt with depression for so long. I had always thought that I really didnt' have much of a testimony because I've never really done anything bad as far as drugs, sex, alcohol, parties, and the like. I dont fight with my parents and there's just alot that I've been protected from. Due to all this, like I said, I felt like I didn't have much of a testimony, yet, there was always depression. It was a huge part of my life, but I just didn't think about it as a bind. I was never suicidal but I had (what I believe) was Dysthymia. It's a low-grade depression that is more a long-term day in day out type of depression. Just the lack of motivation and passion for life, yet doesnt exactly affect every single part of your existance. I still functioned and I still had friends, but when I got on a low, I could stay there for quite some time.

I learned while I was at the Bible college that you cannot try to fill your mind with knowledge of God's Word unless you have a desire for it. I learned so much, yet my relationship with God didn't exactly grow deeper. I was still depressed.

To make a long story short, this summer I have been released of that bondage. Praise God. God has ignited within me this fire that is burning and he has given me people to help guide me and set me straight and love on me and encourage me and really show me what it means to be refined by fire. It is a hard process, but you experience such growth through it.

(that depression bit was pretty much a tangent)

What I want to get at with this post is that I have been so undecided throughout my life since highschool. Like I said, I spent a year at Boise State, and I spent a year at Boise Bible, and now, I'm in my 3rd year of college, and I'm back at Boise State again. For a while I wanted to go into teaching secondary education in english, but that fire quickly faded. I thought I wanted to do counseling, but that fire faded as well. This summer, I decided I wanted to do something that involved helping people, and so I thought I could go into non-profit organizations, and then I was told by an academic advisor that I should go into sociology if I were to pursue that feild. I got into a soc. class, and discovered its not my thing, so that fire died too.

It's tough to be in that spot again of having no idea where you are in life.

Then...I began to hear a still small voice. Has God ever spoken to you through your own words? He brings to your attention things that you've said, and through that, opens your eyes to his will?

"For a while I wanted", "I thought I wanted", "I decided I wanted"

Then I got it. Though my intentions were good, they weren't good enough. I thought "Hey God, see, I think you could really use me in counseling! Yeah, people need Jesus there, God, and I could really open their eyes to alot of truths that you have for them."

"Hey God, those highschool students really need you and I could really shine light into their lives for you and ya know, show them Jesus through my love for them. I could be a good role model for those highschool students, God, you could surely use me there!"

"Hey God, you can use me in non-profit organizations! That is a huge need, and I could be helping out so many hungry children or hurting mothers, God, and through you I could show them who you are through Jesus!"

I tried to think of a career that I thought God could use me in, instead of just quieting my spirit and listening for his voice. He never allowed a fire to burn for any of those careers because, I feel, he knew that my pride would overcome me.

God has a plan for me. I will do ministry in some way. I dont know where I'll end up, or what I'll be doing, but my work will be for his kingdom.

Its amazing how God can speak to those we hold dear to us. lol. I am told "God has a plan for you Kristy" and its almost as though they know something I dont. There is such assurance there, and it ignites within me that assurance that, yes, God does have a specific plan for me and he will use me and maximize my abilities to advance the kingdom, that is, if I am a willing vessel to be used.

So where am I going? I dont know. My parents want me to get a degree here at Boise State. My heart is not to get some career that earns me alot of money. I have seen money destroy lives. I do not want to bring that upon myself, nor my own family someday.

I think I will get my associates degree here, and then pursue ministry. God is my light. He will make my paths clear and I will serve him.

I want to thank those of you who kept up with this random post. I really had no plan of what to write...i just..wrote. But this is me, and this is what God has laid on my heart.

Seek God always. (so i was just sitting here thinking of a verse somewhere in the Bible that talks about making our paths straight, and I really didn't know where it would be. I grabbed my Bible and thought "Proverbs would be a good place to start looking for it." Second page I turn to and BAM: -->)

Proverbs 3:5,6

Trust in the Lord with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways submit to him,
and he will make your paths straight.

Thanks for spending this time with me inside my heart and head :)
May you be blessed today.

In Christ,
Kristy

Labels: direction, life, proverbs 3

posted by Kristy @ 12:08 AM 1 comments

From simple things to complex things. From a teaching mentality to a learning one. From strength to brokeneness.

About Me

Name: Kristy
Home: Boise, Idaho, United States
About Me: I'm just a seeker. I seek God and each day is full of lessons that he gives. He reveals His grace to me and when I fall he picks me up to my feet. When I can't see I know He'll clear my vision. I am simply seeking God's will and my hope is that this corner of the internet becomes a place where I can share the random things that go through my mind, and hopefully make a few friends. Thanks for stopping by :)
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